I should probably preface this post with some information about this blog. You can check out my about page for more about myself, but the long and short of it is that I’m a queer furry just starting a PhD program in math. This blog, in turn, is primarily about my life and experiences in that program and in a city new to me. Beyond that, I’m a big fan of video games, especially analyzing and interpreting them, and while I enjoy other varieties of art, I’m still developing that lens elsewhere, so I might branch out in terms of post topics at some point.
I intend on posting more-or-less monthly, with the idea that monthly posts strike a balance between update frequency and size. They’ll also, hopefully, help me recognize that my life is pretty interesting, once I zoom out of the day-to-day monotony and consider the bigger picture. Doubtless there are many questions I’ve left unanswered, so if you have any, send me a message on social media — I’m @LabCoatPerson on Twitter and @trajing@unstable.systems on Fedi. If you have another means of contacting me, those work too. I’ll try my best to reply to any questions and replicate them and their answers here if I feel they’re of general significance.
The Summer and Move-In 🔗
It’s hard to describe how transformational this last summer was for me. It really feels like I took a pause on my personal growth for the duration of undergrad, and all of that growth came surging out in the few brief months between the end of undergrad and the start of grad school. Rationally, I know that isn’t the case — many of the events of this summer were planned in advance, and my making those plans reflects growth that already happened. Even so, I don’t think that accounts for my whole summer, and the imagery is nice regardless.
I visited Manhattan for about a week, for food, museums, and theater. Its sheer scale and density was staggering, even in comparison with other major American cities. It’s impossible to escape the realization that there is something different about this place, purely by virtue of the sheer amount of people there.
Still, while quantity may have a quality all its own, that quality isn’t necessarily positive. Navigating the sidewalks was miserable at points, with huge clumps of people popping up unpredictably, and I found myself less than enthused with the frequent honking outside my hotel room window at 3AM. Between these and other various complaints, (Why are you all clumped up to take selfies in front of art? It’s being displayed so you can look at it in person! Stop it!) I was more than ready to return home by the end of my week. NYC was incredible, and I intend to visit again, but even if it didn’t cost an arm and a leg, I don’t think I’d want to live there.
Later in the summer, I went to Anthrocon — my first furry convention ever — which was also profoundly affecting in a different way. A full accounting will have to wait for another post (I’ve already delayed this post long enough trying to put my feelings to words in a reasonably coherent manner), but the brief version is that I have always struggled with socialization for the sake of socialization, without some kind of “excuse” attached. I went to Anthrocon in order to meet new people, and was immediately struck by how cool I found everyone, followed immediately by how incredibly kind they were. Of course, none of this is to minimize the effect of the art and fursuits, which also impacted me in a way more difficult to put into words. I will be going next year (and I am setting aside plenty of money).
I moved into my new apartment just a couple weeks ago, and I’m cautiously optimistic for the coming year. It’s not as if I won’t face challenges — my starting classes are no joke, and my partner (I couldn’t go this whole post without mentioning him!) is starting grad school at the same time, in a different city. Even so, I have confidence in our ability to meet those challenges and overcome them. After all, if it were easy all the time, why even go to grad school?